“The Southern Vampire Mysteries” Still Sort of Suck…
jenny | Jun 14, 2010 | Comments 22
So the monumental wait for True Blood season three is finally over. Unfortunately, now I have to wait for every episode each week just like the rest of the Truebies. I’m not sure if I can do it, but I’m gonna try like hell.
Despite having to work at 8 a.m. this morning, I stayed up until 1:30 to watch the season three episode one premier. Today my head feels like someone stuck a corkscrew in it, but it was worth it.
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna post any spoilers, or even do up a fancy list of the number of times Bill said, “Sookie,” but I will tell you this: all the minisodes posted on HBO during the season break were better the second time around.
I also finally got past page three in “Dead Until Dark,” book one in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I am still not impressed with the writing, and though I am monstrously jealous of Charlaine Harris’s success with the series, I find myself wondering how she managed to get a book deal. 
I’ve said it before, but for those who are new to my blog, I used to proofread for a Harry Potter Fanfiction site. Thousands upon thousands of young, new writers ages 11 and up posted their work, and while it was excited to see these enthusiastic kids putting fingers to keyboards, sometimes the writing was painful incredibly painful to read. On the other hand, they were thirteen… they have an excuse. They are still learning how to tell stories and chances are, by the time they hit their twentieth birthday, many of them will be better story tellers and writers than a number of people making a killing in the market today.
Many newbie writers start out integrating themselves into a fantasy world they want to be a part of. There is nothing wrong with it. I do it all the time, and most published writers are often quoted saying, “I wrote a story I wanted to read.” On the other hand, some of these young writers tell rather than show in their work, a writerly faux pas that can take years to smooth out.
Charlaine Harris is a teller, from what I can see. The first twenty-three pages of Dead Until Dark is jam packed with descriptive phrases like, “I was wearing my favorite blue tennis shoes with bright white ankle socks and had combed my fluffy blond hair into a bouncy ponytail.”
Yes… she uses the word “had” a lot. A lot more than is healthy. Which makes me want to chew on dice until my teeth break…
So, I wandered over to Miss Harris’s website this morning to see if I could find out who her editor was. I didn’t find out, but I did read an FAQ in which Harris addressed inconsistencies in the novel series plot… Seriously? That makes me want to stop reading now. In regards to the inconsistencies, Harris noted she hired a continuity editor to help her catch mistakes before they spiraled out of control. She also took credit for the inconsistencies, stating the mythology spiraled out of control while she was writing…
Now, here’s the issue I take with that… SLOW DOWN and pay attention. Since 2001, there have been sixteen books in the “The Southern Vampire Mysteries” series. That’s an average of about two books per year. To me, it’s like she’s just cranking these bad boys out like mad, barely reading them when she’s done and then putting them out there for the general public. Is it a money thing? Does she just not care about the quality of her own content?
Which reminds me of another author who is incredibly popular right now: Sherrilyn Kenyon. Some of my close friends live to read Kenyon’s books, but I could never push myself to read beyond the first book in her series.
Okay, so obviously “The Southern Vampire Mysteries” and Sookie Stackhouse will eventually fade out because they are just brain candy. Just like real candy, which rots out your teeth eventually, brain candy eventually bores the mind of the intellectual reader. On the other hand, the TV series is good stuff, and I know people who will disagree and say the books are better.
Then I think maybe I’m just a snobby jerk who read too much ridiculous classic literature in college. It ruined me and made it impossible to enjoy reading in the same capacity I once did. Ah well… I’m going to keep reading this damn True Blood book if it kills me and turns my brain into mush.
I’ve never watched the show (don’thitme) but I think I have a similar problem with my writing at times. It’s a work in progress, showing instead of telling, but one I will be very happy with when I finally get there.
David Sobkowiak recently posted..Recent observations
Strike while the iron is hot. She has an audience now with a short attention span. It doesn’t look like she’s aiming for literature; paper backs for teenagers…like modern day pulp mags in paper back form, I guess.
vange recently posted..Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?
Hired a continuity editor? No need to say more..
Patrick recently posted..Fighting Dragons on Mars
Not a fan of Harris’ writing style and had burned out on Kenyon after the Acheron book went so horribly over the top. (I did not need 300 pages of specific descriptions of the sexual abuse of a young boy.)
Kenyon is even more prolific than Harris when you consider she’s not only Sherrilyn Kenyon, she’s also Kinley MacGregor. She’s done really well up until her last DH book in keeping up with her own canon. The woman’s work ethic is insane, she has three series as MacGregor and three as Kenyon, plus a new YA series and manga adaptations of the DH books. Kenyon claimed she’s prolific because most of the DH series was written (at least in her brain) long before she found a publisher who was willing to take a chance on parnormal. That and she claims she doesn’t really sleep much.
I’ve aways said your problem with the work of Kenyon and te like is that you are a horror purist at heart. You want your vampires and werewolves blood thirsty and scary.
That could be, Jae… I have a hard time with the fluffy bunny horror genre. My problem with Harris is just bad writing. I swear, it’s like reading through the HPFF queue of olden days. “The vampire was dressed all classy like. He had on blue trouser slacks and black wingtip shoes. His shirt was green like grass…” And I swear, there was a portion of description about Sam Merlotte when she actually said, “Sam has blue eyes, but not the same color blue as mine, which are smokey blue.” It was like something I wrote when I was in 9th grade.
I like the TV show when I get a chance to see it (with most TV I usually wait for the season to end and watch the whole thing in one block). Haven’t tried the books yet. I’m still trying to open enough time in my schedule to get to Anne Rice and I’ve delayed that one for over a decade!
Jim Ryan recently posted..And Now an Interview with Jennifer Hudock
I tried to read the first book, but couldn’t get through it. As for the show, you know how I feel about it. I did enjoy staying up late with you, though
Someone once tried to tell me that what I considered poor writing on Harris’ part was her attempt to create Sooky’s voice. Well, that explains why I don’t like Sooky. In the book, let’s face it, she’s TSTL (too stupid to live). I forced myself through the first book and it was torture.
Currently reading Kenyon’s YA Infinity. The Squeenager might like it. It’s an interesting take on zombies.
As you stated, you sound extremely jealous…no need to say more.
And have you read the books? If so, you think they’re really well-written? I’d love to hear your take on that. As for being jealous, who wouldn’t be jealous of a writer who can’t write, yet earns like mad off an “idea” rather than actual writing? I guess I take back my “jealous” comment. I wouldn’t want to have a big fancy career that centered around half-assed work that isn’t even consistent from beginning to end. Thanks for your thoughts, Mary Byrne.
Yeah, Sookie is my least favorite character in the series, even on television. I have to say in reading the book, I am disappointed that many of my favorite characters from the show aren’t in the books at all.
It’s hamburger. I like to eat hamburger. I like to eat steak. Sometimes I eat steak tartare with white truffle oil but that doesn’t mean I don’t like hamburger. I’ve always liked literary hamburger. I like Sookie, she’s a big beefy hamburger and they’re not calling the fries pomme frites. I actually don’t like HBO Sookie. IMHO they want her to be Anita Blake. Don’t be jealous of Charlaine or Laurell, be jealous of someone like hmmm Connie Willis or C.J. Cherryh (the best psued ever)
I don’t like Sookie at all, Joe. Not in the book, not on the show. I’m still reading because it’s like candy for the brain when I don’t feel like taxing myself with something more intellectual, but the TV series is so much fleshier. The characters get more development because the plot goes beyond Sookie’s realm of introspection. I am also missing great characters like Tara and Lafayette. When I say I’m jealous of Harris, it’s because I find myself wondering how she managed to get a book deal in the first place.
I’ll take big bucks for very little work, Mary Byrne! So there!
vange recently posted..World Cup Update #3
[...] importantly, even more important than my growing anger with The Southern Vampire Mysteries, is Acadia’s very astute tips on how to hold an intelligent conversation. He’s an [...]
I read Dead Until Dark. I didn’t have any trouble getting through it, like you Jenny… but it was marshmallow fluff. No real substance and it didnt’ stay with me. I didn’t think the writing was TERRIBLE, but it wasn’t good. The show is a lot deeper and more layered. One of the few instances of visual medium taking something shallow in literature and making it great.
Incidentally, Stephanie Meyer gets a ton of shit for poor writing, and while I think she has a lot to learn her writing has improved over the course of the books. And her writing is much stronger than Harris’.
Morgan Elektra recently posted..Walking the Line
I’m loving it
Sweet post.
[...] Mysteries novels? No? You don’t remember? Well in that case, you can refresh your memory here and here if you’d like. I’m not planning on delving too deeply into the same old [...]
I am actually very surprised at the number of continuity errors I’ve spotted, even in the first 4 books. A spreadsheet would go a long way to ensure things like that are caught BEFORE they hit mass publication. It’s either that, or Catfish Hennessey got himself a big ol’ name change, and as is typical, we just didn’t find out about it because it was published as a short story. Maybe Catfish Hunter is his porn name…
At any rate, they’re kitschy fluff, and fun to read when I don’t want to tax my brain.
Eh,
the first book might have been a hard read but I found the ones after to be very good.
I enjoy her writing. Especially Erin.
I didn’t think it was a hard read, just not a very enjoyable one for me.