Squeenage Wisdom
jenny | Jul 15, 2010 | Comments 6
Summer has always been my season. My favorite time of the year… It’s a time for family get-togethers, picnics, the lake, hiking in the State Park, lazing by the pool with a good book, daydreaming on a blanket under the stars and waiting for one to fall so I could make a wish…fireworks, the county fair, the smell of Banana Boat soothing aloe gel and the cool sensation of it on my skin.
Even as an adult, I still find time to soak up the sun and enjoy the wonder that is the most wonderful time of year. Since I had my daughter, summer has gotten even better because I have someone fun to share the things I love about the season with.
One of the most memorable summers I had was my 18th year. My best friend Christie and I dubbed it “The Summer of Love,” because we had a different boyfriend every other week and spend all our time on awesome camping adventures just being ourselves. It was the last summer before all our adult life responsibilities appeared, making us long for the days when school was out for summer and that Alice Cooper song was our mantra.
I was thinking about this today because Squeenager is 15 1/2 this summer. She’s got two real summers left before she enters into her senior year of high school, and a part of me wishes we could spend every day at the park and the pool just laughing and having fun.
Life happens so fast. One minute you’re holding this tiny person in your hands thinking about that first walk in the park in a stroller, and the next thing you know, she’s asking you to take the training wheels off her bicycle. Blink again and she’s looking at prom dresses and thinking about the boy she likes going to Marine boot camp in the middle of August.
I start to think about how much it’s going to hurt her to say goodbye to this boy when the summer is gone, and she’s on her way to field hockey practice with a stick over her shoulder and kneepads banging around her shins. And how will she feel when he gets stationed overseas.
Watching her grow up… start going through the trials that make life both difficult and enjoyable, I find myself scared that the family feeling I love so much about summer will soon be gone. I’ve even gotten itchy ovaries a few times, and started to wonder if maybe I couldn’t have just one more.
I don’t know… If I’ve learned anything from being her mother, I’ve learned that I love being a mother. I know we never stop being their Mommies, but I don’t know if I’m ready to stop “being” a mommy.
Filed Under: Life
I completely understand what you’re saying. I know I still have awhile before I really have to worry, but I know that I don’t want to stop being a mommy wants Blake’s out of the house. There are times I think of having more, but can’t because of my current situation. But I can’t help but feel nostalgic when I see other mom’s holding their babies. There’s a part of me that wishes my kids were still small enough for me to hold. At the same time, I love watching them grow up and experience things for the first time. I get a great deal of pleasure out of watching them experience life and all that it has to offer.
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Ahhhh, now that’s the type of parental love I love to see and is so sadly missing from FAR toooo many *home* today.
I may be going out on a limb here (but not too far), but I believe she will do just fine with the foundation you have given her. And just think, it’s just a couple of years till she realizes how wise and valuable your insights are. I know that was me as I graduated and left home.
The part that sucked is several years after graduation when I called home for advice and Dad said, “Son, you’re a grown man now. You can make your own decisions.” Sis & I had a laugh about that a few years ago. Think of it as your reward/vindication.
You made me cry!!! First I laughed… my boys are now teenagers and we go to mom’s beach house every weekend. The “weekend girl exploits” are just starting. Nothing bad… but lots of texting from New Jersey girls LOL!
Then the tears… today… (sniff) I just bought my ONLY daughter a training bra. She is a bit too young but she THINKS she really wants one. “Honey, you don’t want one yet, trust me!” But pleasseeeeee! So I did. And then I read your post. And then I cried!
My boy has one more summer left and it all happened in the blink of an eye, the growing up part that is. It seems like just yesterday he was a blond and was happily content to spend his days playing with Thomas the Tank Engine.
I’m sure she will be just fine.
I hope your ovaries stop itching soon.
Jen recently posted..Drum Solos and Orgasms
Awe, Katherine. It’s so hard to let them go. My 15-year-old just went on her first “real” date tonight with a boy who actually has his own car. I got teary eyed as I watched them pull away. Being a mom is TOUGH! But so rewarding.
I know! Scratching itchy ovaries is damn near impossible!